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Our close companions for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered numerous hardships, and I respect her for that. However, she has been constantly taken by surprise by people. Her husband left her, which came as a huge shock. Several of her social circle vanished during that time, because they seemed only interested in him. This surprised her. She put in increased attention to be my friend, and must have understood more acutely the meaning of companionship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

In the time since, several of her friends have drifted apart without her being certain of the reason. The company she worked for turned on her, even though she had been an excellent employee, she departed unaware of what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

Lately, we have each retired and are seeing frequent meetups, however, I feel my role in our friendship is as the audience. I introduce topics of conversation but she shifts the talk toward her own topics. In terms of politics, she holds strong opinions. I attempt to propose double-checking information and different perspectives.

She is arranging a trip to a nation I know well repeatedly even called home for a while. I tried to share insights, yet it was met with resistance. She really just desired validation of her decisions. I recently ended a month in that country she hopes to meet, however, I hesitate.

Evaluating the Situation

I don't want to act as a friend who abandons suddenly without a word, however, I feel she will ever comprehend the consequences of her behaviour on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is pulling back. How should I proceed?

Possible Paths

It's possible to cut and run, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it with a view to a solution takes courage and openness for each of you.

Professional advice indicates applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially requires explaining what typically happens during your discussions. It should be based on facts like what a recording device would replay. The second is to express her how it affects you emotionally. This allows for no disagreement about this. Your feelings are your feelings, after all. Step three is to ask how the two of you going to change the dynamics in your relationship."

Keep in mind she too has a point of view, thus requiring you to be prepared to acknowledge it. One effective method is to say your friend:

"It's your turn to speak while I will remain silent for 30 minutes."

This can be successful to encourage better communication.

Key Takeaways

She might reject your concerns, for those who cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a story regarding their experiences they won't release since their identity depends upon it and it's all they've known. This is difficult when there seems no easy route in such cases, only cul-de-sacs. But she may at first react like this before reflecting on your words. If a resolution isn't found a resolution, it provides satisfaction from having been honest with her.