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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything constantly. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest helping her make content.

I appreciate that she has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it's simply being realistic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having Beth around makes endeavors lively and enjoyable. I never force her to participate in anything, and I would never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I am ready to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?