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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted challenge on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive guide to the words Zoomers is using to discuss love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this list you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to gen Z, dating’s ideal is showing up as your true, unvarnished self. You'll need it with that!

B

Bird theory – A online phenomenon connected to a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while radiating mystery and independence. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to choosing someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do affordable dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, venting all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it refers to partners who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The opposite of playing it cool: practicing communication, transparency and openness.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal habits suggesting a prospective partner is bad news. Examples include calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These quirks confirm your decision to pursue a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who hates the same things or people that you do (nothing creates intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is beloved by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Heterofatalism – A phenomenon describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and usually everyday repulsions that immediately shut down any sense of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {